I have to admit to feeling a little out of place right now and a lot of my thoughts recently have centred around creativity in the work environment.
I know, certainly for myself, that I create best when I am comfortable, wearing clothes I'm happy in and am in a little bit of a bubble listening to music or whatever. Where I work is very much not that sort of environment, they're pretty corporate and insist that you wear co-ordinated separates or a suit to work. It's never going to happen. Unlike many people, suits don't transport me into a confident, businesslike persona but if anything have the opposite effect.
I am not a corporate businesswoman. I am a designer. Wearing jeans and a jacket is me. It's the person I recognise in the mirror, I know her vision, I know her approaches, I know the way she speaks, the scope of her imagination, her readiness to learn, the limits of her knowledge and how far she can push them.
I am still the same person inside the suit but I feel a fake and a fraud. I feel like this woman in the suit is someone different and I don't know her. I don't want to embrace her. I don't like her. To me she's a symbol of all things that I dislike about corporate business.
So I find myself disquieted at work and sometimes look at the work I'm producing and wonder if it would be better if I had the freedom to dress as I chose, and I could drop into my proper comfy office chair and cross my legs like I was doing yoga, put Phantom of the Opera on full blast instead of sitting in my office chair in my 'co-ordinated separates', surrounded by people in suits using management speak to illustrate points that a retarded ferret could understand if they just spoke in English.